Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize