It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize