Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
