yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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