Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
