I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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