Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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