he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize