She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
