Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
