guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
