i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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