He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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