In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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