yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
