Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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