So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
