Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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