I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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