She said her name was "party"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
