Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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