OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i drank out of a bidet.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
