we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
