Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
