Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
