Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
God, I missed his penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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