i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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