Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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