Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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