when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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