dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
