Kiss
Puke
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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