idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize