When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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