I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
