How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
