Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
