i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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