I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize