just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
