Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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