All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
