Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
