my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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