i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
