No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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