she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
