Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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