what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
