Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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