But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
