Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
sex in a hospital.. check
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
