I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
