Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
