I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
