so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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