I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
