Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
