so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
