I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
