Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
