stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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