Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
